I’ve always told people that when you do not listen to the needs of your body, your body will make the messages louder. I’ve been sick a lot lately and feel the pressure of making up for the time lost. However, learning to nurture myself is my number one lesson this lifetime. Sometimes, I find, it’s really challenging not to ram through my body’s limits with my powerful will.
This morning I went out for a regenerative walk after another sudden illness. The springtime day was blue and bright and although i was walking slow, I was happy to be strolling along. Then, I dared to look right while walking forward and suddenly my right heel was in agony, my leg gave out from beneath me and I had to limp home. That was kinda scary, though I knew it was from compressed vertebrae in my neck and sacral, mostly from lying around and coughing.
As a metaphysician, I immediate go to what I was dwelling upon at the time though. i had been thinking that about how I could push myself into doing things I don’t want to do because I no longer want to do it, and therefore there is no energy (life-force) to do it. It would be a self-betrayal at this time. Even if that living my truth, self caring decision, would disappoint others and other parts of me. Like the old saying goes – if you haven’t got your health, you have nothing.
This is, I believe through experience, even more important when as a sensitive being, I have to process a lot of information, feelings and energies, due to my response to both everyday living and my spiritual internal awakening. Things impact me to a great extent, and I accept that.
My granddaughter simply telling me she no longer knows how to smile, emotionally devastated me for days, no I am still in the grief of it. She is now self-conscious, insecure in how to be, losing her carefreeness and union with her own nature. She can hardly wait to be six – because in her words “when you are six you don’t smile as much.”
So, as I continue to be humbled by having limits, I know I have to walk my talk. Step at a time, turning it over, moving my ego’s needs out of the way for my Divinity to show me the next step, and trusting that next step is always for my highest good and happiness – and my granddaughter’s.